Date Night Doting on Divine Mercies

Thou Eternal God,
Thine is surpassing greatness, unspeakable goodness,
super-abundant grace;
I can as soon count the sands of ocean's 'lip' as number thy favours
torwards me;
I know but a part, but that part exceeds all praise.
I thank thee for personal mercies,
measure of health, preservation of body,
comforts of house and home, sufficiency of food and clothing,
continuance of mental powers,
my family, their mutual help and support,
the delights of domestic harmony and peace,
the seats now filled that might have been vacant,
my country, church, Bible, faith.
But, O, how I mourn my sin, ingratitude, vileness,
the days that add to my guilt,
the scenes that witness my offending tongue;
All things in heaven, earth, around, within, without, condemn me-
the sun which sees my misdeeds,
the darkness which is light to thee,
the cruel accuser who justly charges me,
the good angels who have been provoked to leave me,
the countenance which scans my secret sins,
the righteous law, thy Holy Word,
my sin-soiled conscience, my private and public life,
my neighbours, myself-
all write dark things against me.
I deny them not, frame no excuse, but confess, 'Father, I have sinned'.
Yet still I live, and fly repenting to thy outstretched arms;
thou wilt not cast me off, for Jesus brings me near,
thou wilt not condemn me, for he died in my stead,
thou wilt not mark my mountains of sin, for he leveled all,
and his beauty covers my deformities.
O my God, I bid farewell to sin by clinging to his cross,
hiding in his wounds, and sheltering in his side.

pg 10, Valley of Vision, edited by Arthur Bennett

Appointed time

It's 5 o'clock and I'm just now reading my Bible. hmmm... not what I would consider a good day when I miss THE BEST beginning I could have. Thought I'd go back to blogging... I was challenged last night by my 5 Aspects Study, in the application section: How much time do I spend each week giving spiritual life through teaching or sharing my spiritual lessons with others? My very first thought: Blogger, an old friend, although not forgotten. If Christ is my utmost treasure, why wouldn't I share the joys and learning with others?? Answer: I've got complexes. aka: insecurity + laziness.

Exodus 5:22
Then Moses turned to the Lord and said, “O Lord, why have you done evil to this people? Why did you ever send me? For since I came to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has done evil to this people, and you have not delivered your people at all.”

Hahaha...The very first sentences of my reading today and I can hear Moses asking, "Yeah, so, didn't you tell me you were going to use me to release your people? And, ummm..., well, why, have you not done that yet? Actually, you made it worse for them. I know you know that, so it leads me to doubt if I heard you correctly or not the first time..." This reminds me how God is the God of time. Holy and perfect is God's appointments. I love that I cannot operate outside of His boundaries. (1 Cor. 8:6, Eph. 4:6) Everything, before time began, was appointed. I see at least 35 verses that use the phrase at the "appointed time". There are countless stories that illustrate the purposefullness for everyone, everything: each small nano second, each of the 37 steps necessary for bloodclotting, each fertalized egg in a womb. Everything is set so that God would be shown as worthy to receive glory, as uncomparable, as the only thing worth pursuing and savoring. Even when we can't see the big picture and only see the trouble we are in, like Moses. So, let's get back to reading and see God's faithfulness...

It's good to feel disturbed.

I had coffee today with another ReachGlobal personnel. We talked about the everchanging American Christian culture we are trying to engage and the need to change our processes, systems, programs to meet the needs. I was feeling disturbed because there is so much to do and so little time. Then I came across an article quoting Sir Francis Drake from 1577:

"Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

Disturb me, Lord.
Not for my fame, gain or world-change, but for the purpose of knowing you and pursuing the people right in front of me."

I was feeling disturbed and I thought that was bad, but realized the motivation it had. So I took a deep breath and reminded myself, my ministry is not only my work, but every relationship I have.

oh, and by the way, I lost my glasses... again.

Found my glasses!

Last night I found my glasses!!! They were put away in my little bedside box. I outsmarted myself! I am so happy I don't have to strain my eyes anymore!

Today, thanks to God for the motivation, I woke up and began memorizing Rom. 1:1-6. My friend Hh and I are memorizing Romans 1 together. Praise God for fellowship of a sister in Christ! It reads: "Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God, 2 which he promised beforehand through his prophets in the holy Scriptures, 3 concerning his Son, who was descended from David according to the flesh 4 and was declared to be the Son of God in power according to the Spirit of holiness by his resurrection from the dead, Jesus Christ our Lord, 5 through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of his name among all the nations, 6 including you who are called to belong to Jesus Christ"

Energized from the verse, I went for a walk around Lake Nokomis after watering the tomato plants left under my care (1st of 14 days!! I can't forget!!). When I returned from my morning walk, I ate some raisin bran cereal and watched the news. 5.4 magnitude earthquake in Ca was the top story. I thought to myself, "nothing new under the sun... earthquakes in California." I leisurely finished and walked upstairs to take a shower and get ready for the day. I stopped to check my email and read some food for thought on biblical peacemaking:

"His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither..." said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." John 9:2-3

God uses conflict to stretch and challenge you in carefully tailored ways. This process is sometimes referred to as the "ABC of spiritual growth": Adversity Builds Character. As you worry less about going through conflict and focus more on growing through conflict, you will enhance that process and experience the incomparable blessing of being conformed to the likeness of Christ."

Taken from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflictby Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 37

It is true that He will allow pain or adversity into our lives to help us grow to become more like Him. The next email was a message from a District Superintendent, regarding the Free Church in Marshall, MN.

"A collision between a car and van that occurred mid-afternoon Sunday in SW MN has claimed the life of Andy Wiersma, interim pastor of youth & college, and injured six students from the college ministry at Marshall EFC. Three students were airlifted to hospitals in Sioux Falls, and three others are in local hospitals. Pastor Don LeClere and his family (who were called back from what was to be a week of family vacation) is requesting prayer for these dear families and for the entire congregation at MEFC. Andy was to be installed next Sunday to the role of pastor of youth and college long-term. The occupants of the passenger car were not seriously injured. You may recall that this is the congregation that lost 12 year old Reed Stevens in the Cottonwood Bus Tragedy earlier this year (his 11 year old brother, Sawyer, is still recovering from serious injuries). Please uphold the victims and families, and our fellow servant, as they prayerfully depend upon the Lord to cope with these losses."

The Lord has been teaching me on suffering and the sovereignty of God. The question is how will people in the Marshall community look at this and respond? For some, this may be difficult to swallow; but for the man born blind said, "One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see." John 9:25

May I, like Job, say, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21

Trip to Cali

People have been asking about my trip to California. Here are some picture highlights. I took a late night flight and was picked up by Jen who caught me up to date on her move to Hume Lake. I enjoyed a bed and breakfast at Nicole's and a life catchup and our conversation on spiritual things. The whole week was beautiful weather, and relaxing and replenishing down time. Before Tahoe, I celebrated with Jen for her upcoming wedding with a bachelorette weekend in Calistoga. The three days were filled with time poolside, wine tasting, window shopping, and a shower gift unwraping with a hilarious gum chewing game. We enjoyed eating a lunch at the Silverado Brewing Co., dinner out at Brannans Grill, and a breakfast at the enchanting Auberge Du Soleil.

Sunday, mom met me at the storage unit for me to grab my camping gear and I joined Patty and Kristen for the drive up to Sugar Point Campgrounds, Lake Tahoe for NorthCreek's Family Camp. I enjoyed some down time in the word, walks in the forest, soaking in the sun at the lakeside, and one afternoon I rode an innertube down the Truckee river. It was fun to see old faces and surprise them with my presence and, as ususal, enjoyed making new friends. There were many bear sightings, marshmellow roasting, and bug spraying over the layer of dirt on my clothes and toes (and accidently an eyeball or two! Warning: Deet melts toe nail polish... among other things). Chris, Lisa, and family gave me a ride back to the bay area and the last 24 hrs of my trip was spent with Mom and Dad and strategically loading up the Uhaul with the rest of my belongings. I flew home red eye (trick is to have a neck pillow) and they are taking a leisurely drive then across the US and should arrive in Minneapolis Thursday night and spend a little over a week visiting before they return enroute to Montana.

The whole weekend I was in a place of reliance on others' grace and hospitality. Boy, is it humbling. I must be very proud, because it was REALLY difficult. I am so thankful for the kindness shown to me.

Psalms expressions is music for the soul

simple pleasures... headphones on.... bobbing my head to the beat... moving my body with the rhythmn.... doing the Bill Cosby dance. ahhhh... i make myself laugh... as Brushfire Fairytales f stop blues comes on... Incoming tide touches roots to expose...

love the quote: music is what feelings sound like

If God were...

If God were a Kantian, who would not have us till we came to Him from the purest and best motives, who could be saved? ~CS Lewis